I am the woman
Your mother warned you about.
The hushed voice
Pretending everything was fine
Telling me not to speak
Removing the words from my throat
Replacing them with self-hatred
Creating the person I was becoming.
I am the woman
Your mother warned you about.
The flash of fear
When my heart would stop
And veins would clog with ice
Snapping me into an action
That only sometimes kept me safe
Creating the person I was becoming.

I am the woman
Your mother warned you about.
The silent screams
Edges of a blade
Sharpness of pain past
Drawing blood that welled
Slowly falling like tears
Creating the person I was becoming.

I am the woman
Your mother warned you about.
The confusion, the anger
Helplessness of feeling
Frozen in place with no way out
Doors, windows bolted shut
Imprisoned in a life of degradation
Creating the person I was becoming.

I am the woman
Your mother warned you about.
The explosion of awareness
A split second when time stood still
gasoline poured over a carefully sculpted life
A single lit match burning it all down
Raking through the remains
Creating the person I was becoming.

I am the woman
Your mother warned you about.
The piece of fire-hardened clay
Lovingly softened and molded
End results not important
only the process of
shaping and reshaping
Creating the person I am becoming.

I am the woman
Your mother warned you about.
The warmth and tenderness
Long fought, scraping and clawing acceptance of self
Softness of my body
Connecting with hers
Quietly spoken words of love
Creating the person I am becoming.

I am the woman
Your mother warned you about.
The dichotomy, the contradiction
The paradox of emotions conceived in
A multitude of experiences.
The hurt, the sorrow, the pain
Nestled among an evergrowing expanse of love, joy, and laughter
Changing the person I was into the person I am,

The woman your mother warned you about.

Marie Prichard is a longtime writer and educator. She lives on an island in the Pacific Northwest with her wife, their two wiener dogs, and a Munchkin cat. She loves reading, writing, walking the beach, and filling her wife’s pockets with heart rocks. You can read more of her writing on Medium, Whisper and the Roar, and Brave & Reckless. You can also find her on Twitter.